SNACK BREAK #14: Pimples, Croc Charms, and Taylor Swift
Faye hereeeee! Instead of telling you about our sitewide sale (yes EVERYTHING is on sale to prep you for a healthier, more delicious new year…), I am going to tell you about ME. I am the graphic designer and *brand guru* over at DEUX even though my real claim to fame is slowly turning every season of every Housewife franchise into a (fake) Criterion Collection DVD.
I know the holidays have ended, but over at DEUX we simply cannot stop celebrating (they won’t let us???? please help). HR is making me write that we are extremely nondenominational, but over at my 23 and Me we are extremely Jewish. Here are a few of my favorite pieces of Jewish holiday cuteness because Christmas will not and simply can not get all the good branding opportunities.
Sarah Day Arts: Independent seller creating queer-centric jewelry.
Susan Alexandra: It-Girl hot spot making Judaica COOL.
Via Maris: These ain’t your bubbe’s menorahs.
Banana Menorah: Expensive but mandatory.
Super Smalls: Technicically for kids, but aren’t we all someone’s kid???
Outside of cute Judaica, I am also passionate about pimples.
I have tried every zit sticker known to (wo)mankind and have eloquently reviewed them below:
STARFACE: Everyone’s favorite it girl zit sticker is actually the very worst. While they get a 10/10 for cuteness and a 7/10 for social media presence (I find them a bit try hard???), they get a 0/10 for stickiness and a 0/10 for actually working. Why do people keep using these??? What am I doing wrong??
COSRX: 8.5s all around. These work well and have been around forever. But they come with a lot of plastic waste? Like why???
PEACE OUT: These stickers rate pretty highly IMO. 9/10 across the board (stickiness and effectiveness) but they only come in one “skintone” which is criminal and they are so fucking expensive. It’s basically a dollar a sticker. In this economy!? Thanks Obama!!!
RAEL BEAUTY: I’m obsessed. These suckers stay on ALL DAY (10/10 stickiness) and have literally made my most stubborn zits disappear (10/10 effectiveness). Something about having the rim not containing the hydrocolloid makes them extra sticky and extra good at trapping gunk. I love!
MIGHTY PATCH: These used to be my favorite zit stickers. I give them a 8.5/10 for stickiness, a 9/10 for effectiveness, and a 2/10 on the cuteness scale because they are mostly invisible. A valid contender in the search for the perfect zit sticker.
WHERE do I get my (unsanctioned) Croc charms?
I would like to answer the question someone in line at the UPS store just asked me. While this seems like a joke, I really do get asked often. And besties, where do you get anything worth anything???? The answer is always Etsy. If you are buying authentic Jibbitz from the Crocs site, I simply cannot help you. You are too far gone. Etsy has Croc charms croissants. They have Croc charm fried eggs. They have Croc Charm gummy bears. Come to think to it, I might be hungry. Brb.
Okay, I’m back…
My final and most important Snack Break addition is reviewing the Eras tour merch using no specific tools of measurement or any consistent barometers:
The Sweatshirts: Yes. So comfy, so high quality. I think if you’re gna get merch, your best bet is a hoodie. I wear it most days (my room is so cold!!! Why????!) and truly vouch for how soft and lux it is.
The T-Shirts: Yeah, okay like if you’re gonna spend $45 on a tee shirt they are good. Mine has survived several washes so far with no deterioration of ink or fabric. Honestly I just don’t love the designs of the t-shirts as much as the hoodies.
The Bracelet: Omg, it’s so cheap you guys. As in like, no part of it looks “real” or “classy.” Hard no. I have regrets.
The Nail Stickers: 0% of this product is giving Taylor Swift. Like, I’ll just buy the cheap ones from Rite Aid thanks a million!!!
The photo stickers: Decent quality, like, I’m not mad. I’m just not happy either. But, design-wise, why are they square? Like can we not splurge on a die-cut sticker, Taytay? Do rectangular stickers look good anywhere? The answer is no. It will always be no.
The Guitar Pick Coasters: These are reversible which I did not realize initially so they are super slippery. Like a coaster has two jobs: don’t slip and catch all the condensation. These do neither. I love you Taylor, but please never again sell beverage accessories.
That concludes our end of the year Snack Break (Faye’s Version). See you in 2024 with hopefully less acne, more Croc charms, and better coasters.
XO,
The DEUX team